Finding love in a Christian circle

     Waiting on God for your spouse is not easy, it requires great patience. This is why the word says that patience produces character and character hope. If our character is strengthen, we are sure to not lose hope in Christ and in His promises to us. Throughout my journey as a Christian, I remember being single for a few years, wondering if marriage was in God’s plans for me. I remember having countless conversations with single Christians and married ones, and they all shared a common theme – waiting is hard. Every time I would see a godly couple courting or someone successfully married, I would hunt them down to ask them all types of questions. No one truly had the formula on finding your spouse, except, they would always say that God ordained it. Now it may seem as though your pool of options are limited, after all, we are a minority.  It may seem impossible to man, but with God all things are possible and He can bring you your spouse. Our God is supernatural, He isn’t random with His decisions about your life and He definitely isn’t a God of chaos, but a God of order. You’re probably asking yourself, are my opportunities of getting married looking dimmer and dimmer? Has God forgotten me? Is there any hope? And my answer for you is… God is good, kind, and just. All you have to do is trust Him. Below are some practical tips on how to approach the wait and run the race with endurance.

#1 Fast & Pray: If you have not done it yet, it’s time to get on this. Fasting and prayer combined together will open the heavens and bring divine intervention in your life. It will also bring repentance, in case you’ve idolized marriage, and it will bring revelation. God is interested in your love life and believe me, He wants you to be fruitful and multiply, but before that happens, you must walk with the Lord, just like Adam did in the garden.

#2 Stay focused on your God given assignment: This may seem like a given, but not many singles do this. Instead, they focus their energy on finding their spouse or making sure they’re found (with manipulation). This never works, folks, manipulation won’t help the cause, but instead cause you heartache. Focus on your calling, or on asking God to reveal your calling, so that you can put the Kingdom of God first. God will process you during this time, He will show you the mysteries of the Kingdom and when you’re ready, He will open the door to the promise land.

#3 Understand the times: A lot of single Christians are impatient and believe that God is late to the party. This isn’t the case my friend, sometimes we’re late to the party. God gives us all seasons of opportunity, to seize the day, to bask in His presence, but when we’re distracted, we miss the mark. What do I mean by this? There will be times when the Lord will bring you your spouse, he or she may even be in your circle, but you are closed off. Sometimes it’s not that God has not brought them, but instead, you have the walls of Jericho surrounding your life and people are naturally intimidated by you. Maybe you’re shy and don’t attempt to form friendships. And in other cases, you have may have a hard time discerning if this person is the right fit for you. I’m not saying you have to advertise yourself as available to everyone, be discrete, but don’t be closed off either. Learn to make godly friendships, surround yourself with people of God constantly, work in ministry together, and you will see how God will weave in this person into your life. You won’t even know what hit you, when you see it happen! We also have the other side of the spectrum, perhaps your heart isn’t in the right condition to embark on a love journey or you have not grown spiritually mature in the Lord. God will teach you how to wait for the harvest, when it is ready. But for the moment, sow, sow, sow!

#4 Let God be God: If you recall the story of Lazarus being resurrected from the grave, you may know where I am going with this. Martha in her grief demanded from Jesus and told him he was late and if he would have been there on time, Lazarus would not have died. Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life” – John 11:17. It’s quite clear that Jesus reminded Martha that He is in control. This is a reminder that God knows the desires of your heart and He knows what you need even before you ask. Keep in mind that your time is not His and His time is not yours. Ask God to give you revelation, patience, and discernment while you wait for your spouse to arrive. Because it is a fact, “Everything is beautiful in His time” – Ecclesiastes 3:11 

 

Being prudent will preserve your life

Pause. Pausing is perhaps the best and wisest thing to do as a Christian when being prudent. There is wisdom behind this action, being a prudent Christian can actually save your life. You’re probably thinking I’m exaggerating, but in this article I want you to consider the benefits of becoming a prudent person and why it is important. If you recall, God’s word says that every idle word will be judged. “But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.” – Matthew 12:36. If that doesn’t scare you, then I don’t know what will. There is an incredible benefit that comes with the art of being prudent – you keep your soul out of trouble and you guard the hearts of others too.

Below are a few tips to consider:

#1. Measure your words. Before you speak, allow the Lord to minister to you about the situation or circumstance. Every word you utter matters, it can literally light up a forest and cause unnecessary offense, or spread offense among the body of Christ. Always question yourself, is it necessary to say this and will it edify or tear down? Sometimes words can be excessive and where there is a multitude of words, sin can abound. Proverbs 10:19 – “Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.” However, if the situation calls for it and the Lord has given you permission to counsel someone, by all means do it, but with precaution. Proverbs 10:11 – “The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life.” 

#2. Discretion keeps you. We’ve all made mistakes in the past. Perhaps you’ve divulged information about someone you shouldn’t have. Or perhaps you were put in a precarious situation where you didn’t know how to act or what to say, but instead you opted to sharing it with someone. Whatever your situation, it’s important to note that discretion will always preserve your integrity and you automatically exempt yourself from ensnaring yourself into a trap the enemy has for you. The enemy is very astute in this area, he will brew a set of circumstances to make you stumble. The prudent person foresees this and carefully analyzes the possible outcomes and consequences of opening their mouths or entertaining gossip. Proverbs 2:11 – Discretion will watch over you, and understanding will guard you, 12to deliver you from the way of evil, from the man who speaks perversity.”

#3. You avoid unnecessary “frenemies.” There is nothing worse than to get new “frenemies” because of your lack of discretion. People will distance themselves from you when they see you like to divulge the private conversations you’ve had with other brothers and sisters in Christ. Or if you decide to share your unedifying thoughts to someone because you are impulsive. Being impulsive and led by the flesh gives you the  perfect recipe for a new “frenemie.” Notice how I said, “frenemies,” because that’s exactly what happens within the body of Christ. You become a hypocrite to that brother or sister in Christ because of your lack of forgiveness and lack of addressing the person in private. Distancing yourself from a brother or sister in Christ does not solve the problem, it only makes it worse. Omitting an offense to someone and allowing it to grow a root of bitterness is also a sin. This is why the Lord says, “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”-Matthew 18:15. Brothers and sisters – be wise. When you’re discreet you avoid creating new problems with people. Not all Christians are equal. Not every Christian is spiritually mature enough to understand or have compassion about your concern; not every Christian cares about your problems, and not every Christian will be discreet. Be wise with whom you speak to. If the Holy Spirit has not allowed you to be fully open with someone, then learn to listen to instructions.

#4. When you’re prudent, you choose your battles. Not every battle is meant to be fought. Some people will speak ill about you and it will reach your ears. Whether it is criticism, false witnessing, or hate speech, you will need to exercise self-control. Some things are meant to be confronted and other times, you will have to let the Lord fight your battles. Some battles are simply meant to be ignored. Your soul will be more at peace when you let the Lord take revenge and not you. His justice is perfect and righteous. “No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD.” – Isaiah 54:17

God bless you brethren and remember this verse whenever you’re about to open your mouth… Matthew 10:16 – “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves. Be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves.”

 

This tongue is on fire!

During my devotional this morning, I came across an incredible chapter in James. Chapter three focuses on the one muscular organ that directs your life. Now, you might be saying…well, this really is your brain. You are correct, it is your brain, but what comes out of your mouth are thoughts that came from your brain and therefore it is steering you in either the wrong or right direction.

Have you’ve ever been caught up in a conversation with someone who is probably saying more than you would have wanted to know? Maybe the details of someone’s personal life that you probably don’t care about or shouldn’t really need to know? My friend, you’ve been caught up in someone’s gossip. Now, while it may not be your fault and that person may not even realize it, God is listening. What can we do to avoid situations like this and crash the chatterbox? Here are a few tips.

#1 Listen but don’t agree. Sometimes people are speaking out of frustration and they just want to be heard. That’s okay, but if you see that this person is purely speaking out of vanity, envy, self-motivation or with the wrong motive, do not come into agreement. Being a good listener is a practice we should all have to understand people; however, the word of God also says that “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise.” – Proverbs 10:19 (Therefore, be very careful with what conversation you partake in).

#2 Redirect the conversation. Easier said than done, but it is definitely possible. People have such short attention spans and can be EASILY distracted by the ping of their “Facebook” app or you can use the typical “squirrel” tactic. This will not only save you but give a subliminal indication to that person that you are not interested. Just because this person in Christ, does not mean they have fully manifested the fruits of the Spirit. You may just have come across an immature Christian. James 1:26 says, “If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless.” Don’t fall into the trap of believing that they are acting Holy, by no means, they need to be rebuked. God’s word says that you will know them by their fruits.

#3 Pray for them. Perhaps you feel uncomfortable telling someone to stop their gossip for fear of creating strife or offense. It is understandable, if this is you, don’t worry the Holy Spirit will take care of it. The best thing you can do is pray for this person’s heart and let the Holy Spirit do the work. Not only does the Holy Spirit convicts gently and it corrects too. Thank you, Jesus!

That’s all for today. God bless you and I hope this helps. Remember James 3:6…”The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” Don’t be involved in that hell and guard your soul.