By Jennifer Moreno
Jesus cares about your heart, he knows that as a woman you want to be loved and cherished. He designed us that way, we’re creatures that are full of love and we’re ready to give it unconditionally.
The problem with this is that as women we sometimes don’t understand how being so loving and wanting to love someone can put us in a very vulnerable spot. For instance, you can find yourself in a situation where you begin to have feelings for a man, who perhaps has good intentions, but doesn’t want to commit to you. Or perhaps you will find yourself in a situation where a man shows you so much love at first, but suddenly his attitude towards you changes, his attention towards you is no longer the same and he begins to treat you with disrespect. Whatever the case it may be, all of us as women can either relate that at some point we were lured into what seemed like a great relationship, but ended up in chaos.
Though you may recover from those relationships, sometimes those relationships in the past carry on to your present. Or even worse, those wounds have festered and you have tried to put those memories in the back burner. But the truth is my friends, we have to face those hurts at some point. Otherwise our hearts will continue to hurt forever.
Proverbs 4:23 has a lot of wisdom about how to prevent all of this, it says “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Your heart is the most important thing you have. It is the essence of who you are. It is your inner core, your authentic being. It’s where all your dreams, aspirations, desires, and your passions reside in. Your heart connects you to people, relationships and most of all it connects you with G-d.
But all of this looks great on paper, but how do we actually apply it? And the second question is the following, are you intentionally willing to apply it? Here are a few tips.
1. Be careful who you give your time to: Your heart is something precious and it should be taken care of. Satan opposes G-d and everything that aligns with G-d, meaning us too. Therefore we have to be diligent and careful with who we allow in our hearts, who we choose as our friends and who we give our time to. Your time is valuable and whoever you spend it with will subconsciously influence you whether you believe you are being influenced or not.
2. Your heart is the source of everything: Everything we do comes from our heart, whether it be good or bad. Matthew 12:32 says – “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” The condition of your heart is important, because that is what you will reflect. But in order to assess the condition of your heart you have to look at your surroundings and what you are feeding yourself with. If you feed your heart junk, you will protrude junk. If you feed your heart with joy, peace, wisdom and righteousness that is what you will bear externally.
3. Are you honoring the Lord? : When in doubt, honor the Lord. If you’re not sure you’re in the right relationship, on the right path, or if you are acting correctly in a situation. Ask yourself if you’re honoring the Lord? If the answer is no, then that will be your cue to knowing that you are not guarding your heart. It is also important to receive counsel from people who actually have something to show for. The proof is in the pudding. If you want to know what to look for in a man, ask a fellow sister in Christ who has a good marriage. If you want to seek counsel about anything, look at that person’s life first and then proceed at receiving advice from that person. Again, we’re guarding our hearts and we’re being wise.
4. Set boundaries: Many times we find ourselves in places where we’re emotionally wrecked and then we wonder why we’re going through this. It’s not because G-d doesn’t love you, it’s because YOU didn’t set boundaries. It all starts there, but before we can set boundaries we need to be realistic with ourselves and ask… what am I willing to accept and not accept from a person or situation. Am I willing to allow my “boyfriend” or “husband” to put me in second place? Am I willing to accept that my boss yells at me? Is it ok to accept that a friend of mine never pays me back when I lend him/her money? Once you figure out what makes you tick, what makes you irritated or mad, you will more likely establish those boundaries with those people before they even think of trying anything that crosses the line with you.
Hope this served as some guidance. This is a continual process my friends and we’re all in it together. May G-d continue to bless you and give you peace, Amen.